“Car Freak!”

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Bird $h%t

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I for one am sick and tired of bird shit. Constantly all over Ned giving me slight arrhythmias. I’d like to know what birds’ problems are with nice cars. Does the shine suddenly effect their lower intestine forcing out all of their crap? Is it a fear of beauty? At this point I’ve had it. I keep going outside to drive and find their white messes all over Ned’s beautiful body, and I am sick of it.

Birds you’ve been warned.

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A gas station situation.

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So yesterday before heading out for a half hour date, Ned was thirsty and needed some 89 in his system. First gas station I pulled into was receiving gas from the big gas truck, and so option A was out. I didn’t want all that junk from the station getting put into Ned’s tank and clogging him up. Next station, I say ” 20 on 89 please.” He’s like “Ah only regular,… you want that?” Did I say regular? No! Ned only drinks 89, and switching fuel types is BAD NEWS. Moron just wanted my 20 bucks, and to possibly injure Ned, so I responded ” No way man.” and punched it out of there. I’m no moron, but he might of been. Station number 3. I get out to greet the guy and say again ” 20 on 89 please,” and he says “isthisjourdadscar?” I responded “Excuse me?” because it was 100% jibberish coming from a 6’1 fellow. He says again, “Is dis jor Dad’z cars?” and now I’m beyond bothered because what this man meant to say was “Is this your Dad’s car?” I take the gas cap, and said “No, he’s mine.” I then walked to the pump and pumped my own gas at full serve with the moronically insulting attendent standing right next to me.

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