So most people have nightmares of terrible dark things like zombies taking over the world, or an axe murderer chasing them around in a dark field, or being naked in a room full of people. My nightmares consist of Ned and me getting into car accidents.
They’re not like normal fender benders or the classic T-bone. These “accidents” are no accident at all. They are monumental kamikaze demons of devastation that chase Ned and I down looking for fresh blood and gasoline! Now I’m about to attempted to explain one of my nightmares, which is very difficult since nothing in my mind makes sense normally during the day. My apologies before hand for any confusion.
Ned and I were driving along on a road I don’t recognize in real life. Just some random road my mind created for this doomed dream. It was very dark out, but there were a bunch of other cars on this road which, I also might add, had no street lights. I was in the left lane when all of a sudden next to me and Ned, these two cars were speeding around, changing lanes right next to each other, driving recklessly. I thought they were racing each other on the road, or chasing each other, but either way I wanted no part of them and wanted them away from Ned, so we started to slow down. Now I’m not too sure what happened next but the one car got ahead of Ned and the other behind him, and the one behind I think sped up and the other in front slowed down, threw it in reverse into Ned and then the crash… we were on the side of the road and the guy got out and was saying it was my fault, and saying even though he did it on purpose, insurance will read it as a my fault because Ned’s nose hit the demon car’s backside. Then I looked at my beloved. His nose was all mashed up, and there was hardly even a scratch on the other guys car. An unrealistic car accident where only Ned is injured, and its blamed on us when its not our fault; That is a nightmare. Luckily I woke up, went outside and touched Ned and his nose to make sure that a nightmare was all it was.
That was just one of the many car “accident” nightmares I’ve had. Here’s a video of another right after I woke up from it. I have also realized I hardly make any sense right after I wake up. Again, my apologies.
Everyday we’re getting older, and I look back and think, What do I have to show for my life so far? I’m 22 years old which is young to some, and a long time to others. I kept thinking and dreaming about the things I’m going to be doing in the future until one day my ideas of life were changed without warning.
It’s taken me a while to write about this, but I owe it to her and to those who loved her to do so.
This past August, exactly three months from today, the world and myself lost a good friend and an inspirational person. Theresa Durso was so much more than anything I could ever write to describe her, and God, I never thought I’d be without her to have too. Everyday that she was here, she lived, and when I say lived I mean that she saw every moment as an opportunity at a happy and fun memory. I believe that life is full of challenges, testing our courage, our spirits, and our strength. She faced every one of those challenges with the exact same contagious smile and laugh we all knew, making her one of the people I will revere and be forever grateful for having in my life.
Not only did Theresa teach me how to love laughing at myself, but she taught me to not be afraid to be exactly who you are by example, regardless of what the world thinks. She showed me this in High school of all times, when so many teens are so self conscious and always concerned with what others think of them. Theresa was not at all that way. She knew who she was and was herself 100% everyday. My favorite memories of high school are of her and Nicole in the hallways staging fake fights over a water bottle, or passing their books right in front of people so they all fall on the floor, or stealing random peoples hats. They did these awkward silly things for the reactions and laughs, and I’d be in tears from laughing, late to my next class. I remember saying to them that I couldn’t wait to see them at the high school reunion acting the same exact way. Not once did I ever think we’d be where we are today.
I went from shocked, to heartbroken, to wildly enraged at the world and doctors and God, and then to hollow where there was nothing. But then I realized, Life isn’t predictable and just when you think you’ve got it figured out, it flips upside down on you. Its always a coin toss, of good and bad. So the way I figure it is, enjoy the good, and grow from the bad and when times are tough remember that family and friends are the miracles you’re looking for.
Even now Theresa keeps giving back to us, reminding me that we have so much to be grateful for. And now I realized, why wait to do the dreams I have down the road? What’s wrong with right now? Why not live while I’m living? I’m not getting any younger, and neither is Ned.
So ladies and gentlemen its official. Ned and I are starting our 1st cross country trip in 2011.
Thank you Theresa.
Love and miss you
This was the video I made for T when she was still here for a fundraiser for her. She loved the video so I wanted you all to see it.
So this is the footage from our first trip out to a car show with Ned in his new paint. A little bit about it before you watch:
I was filming/driving so you get to essentially see what I did, as I do when I’m in Ned. The camera I overpaid for has this fun quality of going absolutely blurry with out warning, and I dealt with that the whole drive so I figured you guys would definitely need to see a little bit of that to understand my comical frustration.
Then after driving about 20 mins we discovered that the location we once use to go to for car shows had changed a great deal. Once a place packed with radical companions, constant new comers and goers, and roaring motors had now become a barren waste land, leaving those crappy Bentley look a-likes to take over, ruining everything.
